Sareta Fontaine on Motherhood
Tell us what you do for a living and how you got into it?
I'm a freelance social media manager and web designer. I'm somewhat of a social media addict so I'm always online. It started off when I was a Makeup artist and MySpace was the place to self promote. That lead onto having a website, then a Facebook page, then Twitter. I loved interacting with people and finding different creative ways to showcase my work.
Blogging is very time consuming and competitive. What made you choose this path?
To be honest it started off as a sideline hobby. I had no idea how many bloggers were out there, some of which have this as their career! I basically needed an outlet as I could go through days without talking to anyone over the age of 9... So I needed something that would keep my brain active.
How do you manage your career with being a mother to three (gorgeous) children?
Luckily I work from home or Costa! As everything is online I can do a lot from my phone, yes I'm one of those annoying parents checking their phone whilst their kid is playing at the park... It's either that or sticking them in childcare all day.
I can work around them. We all "work" after school, so whilst they're completing maths or English work I've set, I'll be working along side them. Naptime is also great!
"I think my kids think I'm strict, and outsiders/ family members may also think that, but at the end of the day I'm trying to raise men who will be self-sufficient".
How does being a mother make you feel? Be all the way real...
Exhausted!!!!! Some days I feel lost, like I have no idea what I'm doing. Being a constant rock to my family can be testing at times, I go through periods worrying if my kids will turn out to be crap human beings. I think my kids think I'm strict, and outsiders/ family members may also think that, but at the end of the day I'm trying to raise men who will be self-sufficient. Who won't require a partner who has to do everything for them. They'll be able to cook, clean, work professionally and take care of their family! It's hard to keep focused on the end goal when you hear whispers of judgment. I'm still learning to ignore.
How do you and your partner manage day-to-day life with children at different developmental stages? How do you juggle all their different needs?
Luckily my two older children are old enough to get themselves ready for school and such- they sort themselves out whilst I can concentrate on my 2 year old. I get to spend time with him whilst they're at school and he also goes to nursery two mornings a week. That gives me a little free time to work or go to the gym! After school is the real test- as I mentioned we all do work, so all three will do something age related. I scout for age related worksheets and they'll all get down to it. The youngest will either be drawing or watching Star Wars... Which is his addiction at the moment! The kids help out and we all believe in team work- that's how we get through the day. My partner and I made time for them individually. Bed times are staggered so they all get bedtime stories- they also get days throughout the year where they get a day out on their own with one of us. I bought Beyonce tickets for me and the 7 year old... But since the album came out I made the decision that it wasn't quite age appropriate. So we're thinking about how to resolve that lol - we may go to his fav hangout, which is the Natural History Museum.
Do you think that being the Mother of dual heritage children and being in a mixed race relationship affects people’s perception of you and your identity?
I never really noticed to be honest. It's probably in the last 3 years or so I've become aware of people's perceptions. I think people assume I've "sold out" or somewhat "self hated", but each to their own. No one pays my bills or directly affects my day-to-day business so they can think what they want!
How has your race and ethnic / cultural background influenced your parenting?
I believe it's important for my kids to have knowledge about their backgrounds and where they come from. I discuss issues openly, they've visited where my family is from and they understand the difference between my heritage and their fathers. I guess you could say my parenting style maybe different to their peers, mainly because I believe children (and adults) of a certain race still have to work twice as hard to get half of what others have. I often remind them of that.
Do you ever worry about raising ‘mixed race’ boys in London? Why?
We currently live in Essex; it's very leafy and somewhat "mixed". However, we have decided to move back to London. I think it's important for the boys to mix with more children who come from the same background or at least similar backgrounds. My eldest has encountered some racist name-calling, which has to be honest, surprised me. At his age I grew up in a mainly Asian community and never encountered anything, so it was difficult to explain to him why it shouldn't be tolerated. I think mixing with kids from different backgrounds would give them a better understanding. Them growing up and becoming teenagers and men definitely worries me. As mixed race boys they will be treated as black. I understand they are duel heritage, but they are still looked at and treated as black, so in my eyes they will be stereotyped and treated as such.
Sum up Motherhood in four words:
Hard, draining, fun and rewarding.
"I guess you could say my parenting style maybe different to their peers, mainly because I believe children (and adults) of a certain race still have to work twice as hard to get half of what others have. I often remind them of that".
You blog a lot about healthy living...What’s your Go-To meal and why (lol it does not have to be healthy!!)?
My go to meal depends on my mood! In terms of a meal that I could never turn down would be curry and roti. It's not particularly healthy, but it's something I could never say no to! If someone could make a 99-calorie version I'd love them forever and eat this everyday.
When you feel overwhelmed how do you overcome that?
I take some "me time". Whether it's sitting and watching tv on my own or going to the gym for a couple of hours. Music also helps, a bit of old school garage or 90's R&B to sing along to helps me unwind!
What’s the one thing you had known before becoming a Mother?
I think my idea of motherhood was completely different to reality. I read books, I watched DVDS, but nothing prepared me for the complex emotions and actions of little human beings. All three boys are so different. No one could have prepared me to deal with what I have with any of them!
*Quick fire questions*
Trainers or Heels? Trainers
90's or 00's? 00's
Beach or City Escape? Beach
Cake or Cocktails? Cocktails
Natural History or Science museum? Natural history museum
Castor Oil or Coconut Oil? Coconut oil
Bath and candles or sexy underwear? Sexy underwear
Coachella or Glasto? Coachella
Avocado or coconut water? Avocado
Date night or out with friends? Out with friends 🙊
You can keep up with Sareta here:
Sareta’s blog is cute AF tbh so do check it out!