“I think that it is very important for everyone to love their hair the way it is naturally because this says you love yourself just the way you are. It is especially important for black and mixed children to love their hair the way it is because it is part of us and we should be proud of ourselves the way we are”
Tola Okogwu is definitely part of the multi-hyphen career generation, she is a journalist, author, publisher, blogger and does all this whilst being a wife and mother to two small children. Tola's children inspired her to write books that demonstrate the beauty of Afro hair with Kechi's Hair Goes Every Which Way whilst broadening our ideas of gender roles in families in Daddy Do my Hair.
When we separated we both decided that we didn’t want our daughter to have a part time parent and have done everything we can to ensure that hasn’t been the case.
Little Leaders is a very inspiring book that can enjoyed by anyone. This book inspires you to make great changes that can make the world better. All of the women in this book are very significant they changed things for black people and women of all backgrounds. When you first open the book and turn a few pages you will see information about Mary Prince.
As a Mother that is working and running a business what are your daily challenges? How do you manage the needs of your children, keep the business running and stay on top of your day job?
It’s a hard task and as my business is in its infancy stages, I’m encountering new challenges on a regular basis. Time is the main challenge and there not being enough hours in the day. It’s great to have a journal / diary which I do use but I’m learning the art of having Mummy, Carla, Babe, Cush, Sis, Carls, Miss and Coach Carla time lol! Wish me luck!!!
I’m sorry for those of you who got second, third, fourth, fifth or even sixth options - not ideal I’m sure, but at least you got something that you actually chose. Once again we got nothing and it’s shit!
I, like many other parents, allowed motherhood to completely take over my sense of self. Who am I without my children? In that episode Iyanla explains that we all need to be selfish in order to be effective to those we love. ‘My cup runneth over, what’s in my cup is for me, what runs over is for everyone else’.
"I focus on quality and not quantity, sharing posts because I have new work to share or something to say. If you’re anxiously trying to think of something to post next, you’re lacking on the authenticity front and probably need to take a social media detox".
"...I think black mothers need to be bolder about putting their own voices out there too, whether that be through Instagram, Facebook, You Tube or even a blog, without necessarily having to dilute it for your audience. The more there are of us out here taking up space, the more collective noise we will make and the more people will have to listen to what we have to say. And it’s usually really interesting, btw".
We talk about our truth, knowing we can't have it all but still giving it a damn good try. Sometimes I am in a room that is full and seems friendly but I am alone.
The notion of good vibes only and positive mindset can seem disingenuous because a) human emotions are varied and b) the implication is that uncomfortable human feelings should be ignored or 'pushed through'.
As a child of mixed heritage the world sees my daughter a little differently, slightly more equal, and at the age of 10 she is acutely aware of it.
When my son (formerly daughter) first told me he was transgender at the tender age of fifteen, I felt many things.
Self-care, in the form of good nutrition, rest and exercise is so important for mothers, especially in these crazy and uncertain times.
I am very open and frank with my daughter by involving her in every aspect of the business including discussing profit and loss so she can understand why things are somethings not how they used to be.
I now use the festive period to catch up with loved ones, eat loads of food, dance in my slippers, enjoy the big belly laughing and creating joyful memories.
Let me be absolutely real yeah?! Sometimes being a step mum sucks (let the judgement begin, I don’t actually mind).
I chuckled as I watched as this is so like Sareta's Insta life and true to real life! We hope you enjoy it as much as we did.
On the way to the National Portrait Gallery we missed our stop, because we were playing a game on Mum's phone...
She could 'pass', you know that horrible turn of phrase, she could pass for being 'white'. I've lost count of the many times I have been asked if I am my daughters mother, in her presence, accompanied by a look of shock.
This week promise to write yourself a love letter, but write it as if you are your best friend. Write to yourself with kind loving thoughts, celebrate your strengths and do not include any weaknesses or areas for development.
There was always a sense that it was too wild. That it needed to be tamed. That setting it free was the worst thing you could do, that it wasn’t very appropriate.
I realised that I could not raise a strong, independent and self-assured girl if I was a messed up mother.
Both of these projects are designed to give Black women the light and space required to display their creative talents with integrity. These projects are so beautiful, necessary and worthy of time I strongly suggest that you check them out.
If you know me then you know that although i'm not typically shy and tend to end up in random conversations with strangers and can absolutely hold my own in a group convo, I would definitely place myself in the wallflower area of life.